Redneck Love

There in my driveway, we were stuck
when she jumped out of my old truck.
The rain had stopped but mud was deep.
I warned it wasn't wise to leap.

 But yet she tried to get away.
Regret, she did, that awful day.
Escape, she tried.  It wasn't wise.
In mud was covered, toes to eyes!

Above the muffler noise and smoke,
I yelled out loud, "The handle's broke!"
Reach in the window. Be on guard -
then grab that handle, yank it hard!

What she had done just wasn't right.
When she got in, she looked a sight!
Still splattered full with greasy crud
she wiped her eyes, hands full of mud.

I threw a coat under a tire
a pair of heels, a purse and wire.
When revved, I did, to its extreme,
the muffler drowned her ev'ry scream.

She wouldn't push, so we got out.
I wished she wouldn't scream and shout.
Those heels just didn't match her suits
and she looked good in army boots.

Along our driveway next to broom,
from toilet tank, saw tulips bloom.
She plucked one quick when we trudged past.
I knew right then our love would last.

I also knew she'd like our shack
and showed our outhouse there in back.
I keep the freezer on the porch
and fry my eggs with my old torch.

The roof still leaks and I had plans
but fish were in the frying pans.
She dug for worms. She was a gem.
I brushed my teeth, all six of them.

I'm not so big, four hundred pounds.
She liked our home, all seven hounds.
"Now truck needs gas so here's a buck.
I'm glad we've met, it's your good luck.

I need to weld a broken part."
then said, "Be patient, have a heart.
Go find my leather welding glove.
It sure is nice to be in love!

"All will be fine. You cannot leave.
You can't escape. Don't be naive.
A shotgun wedding is in store
for me and you. They've locked the door.

"My pop's the justice of the peace,
the preacher too, and the police.
Jus' take your time and think it through,
ignore the gun, then say, "I do"."
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Now God does not force us like this.
He offers grace, not promised bliss.
So pray to God.  He has your back.
He proves His love that others lack.

It's such a blessing to be free
to serve Him always faithfully.
So don't hitch rides with sinful man,
but follow God, His will and plan.

©2019 louis gander ALL RIGHTS RESERVED