Pretending as I have since birth

right up to now, today -

those fun and selfish things I've spun

to get things my own way.

Well, I would always cry and whine

if I was not chastised -

and tantrums were my specialty

if wants weren't realized.

As teens, my friends and I would joke.

We'd smoke a cigarette.

We sometimes laughed at other folk,

without the least regret.

The beer I drank had proved me cool.

the drugs, to get me high.

Abortion took a precious life -

deception's selfish lie.

Yet at the top of my own list

were comforts by the score...

from better cars to bigger homes

and oh, so much, much more.

I thought about how good I was -

and things that I deserved.

I bragged about the good I'd done

and all the folks I'd served.

I slammed the door on all those things

I'd just as soon forget -

but stubborn guilt had gripped me so

and hadn't left me yet.

Convince myself, I still do try

and fool my closest friend -

but Heaven, though, cannot be fooled

and God does not pretend.

(author's note: I did not smoke, drink or do drugs)