Daily Jewel

by Pastor Carnell, McAlester,OK

“Precious Memories”

“Good people are remembered long after they are gone…” – Proverbs 10:7 (CEV)

It’s an old joke but one that I still smile at when I hear it. There was a man who was in every sense one of the town’s meanest and most notorious scoundrel. He manipulated people—cheated people and was hated by nearly everyone there. When he died, his brother went to a local preacher and asked him if he would conduct his funeral. He had no problem conducting the service, but then the brother presented him with a request that would be a real challenge. “I want you tell people that my brother was a saint.”
The minister was taken back but quickly responded: “I can’t say that! Everyone in town knew the kind of man your brother was. He was a cheat, a drunk, a philanderer…how in good conscience can I lie about what he was?”
The brother looked at him and said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to say he was a saint.” After taking a deep breath the minister agreed. He would say his brother was a saint. When it came time for the minster give the message, he began with these words: “The man lying here today had to be the meanest, most notorious scoundrel to ever live in this town.” He looked over in the direction of his brother and could literally see the anger on his face. Then he continued, “But compared to his brother he was a saint!”
I have been in ministry for close to twenty-five years. During that time I have had the opportunity to help several Funeral Homes both as an assistant and when a family is in need of a minister to conduct a service they could call on me. One of the things I like to do prior to the service is to sit down with the family and ask them to tell me about their loved one’s “story.” In all of the years conducting services—of all the families I have met—I have as of yet to hear any disparaging words regarding that person I was conducting the service for. The “memories” of their loved one is positive, encouraging, loving—and not a one of them has said to me, “I don’t think they are going to heaven.” All of them believe that their mom, dad, sister, brother, husband, wife, was a good person. And if you go back to one of my previous messages you will remember that good (biblically) translates into Godly.
As funny as the story I told above is, there is some truth attached to what the one brother was wanting from the minister. That despite all the wrong a loved one (or family member) does, the evil and treachery that often accompanies their words and actions—there is that hope that there is just enough “good” in them that somehow in the end everything will be all right. We want to remember the good—we want people to say positive things about that person. That is how we want them to be remembered!
But what about you? How do you want to be remembered? What do want people to say or think about you? I can hear the “cogs” turning. I just know that there are those saying to themselves (or screaming at me) that it really does not matter what other people think! If that is the case stop for a moment and reconsider that thought. Would you want the people who mean the most to have to manufacture something good to say about you? For me, I know that I would not want my family members coaxing a minister to say good things about me. Rather, I would want my life to speak for itself. Recently, this scenario played itself out in a way that I could not have scripted. I was asked to conduct a graveside service for a woman. In truth, it was not even a service, it was scripture and a quick prayer. Other than myself, the funeral director and the cemetery workers there was one person in attendance. The woman’s husband. There was no one else there to be a witness of her life. That was in the morning. The same day I traveled 2 hours to attend the service of a friend who was tragically killed. It was conducted in a Sanctuary that held up to 2,000 people and there had to have been at least 1,000 in attendance! Of the two, whose life spoke the loudest? Whose life will be remembered for generations to come?
I am not saying that we should strive to have 1,000 people at our service. But are you living to make your memory count?
Pastor J. T. Carnell