Limerick

Sent by Famida Basheer, Ooty, India
Aug 5, 2012

A LIMERICK, as you probably know already, is a five-line poem written with one couplet inserted into one triplet. The pattern of the rhyme is a - a - b - b - a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 8 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having 5/6 beats and rhyming. Although it is generally believed that Edward Lear devised the LIMERICK, it is nevertheless a fact that the five-line poem was around long before he made popular his nonsense verse. Some claim that the LIMERICK was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

LIMERICKS are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the 'punch line' or 'heart' of the joke. Enough of the technical stuff - LIMERICKS are supposed to be 'fun' rhymes. Enjoy the rhythm as well as the words and as you say the words, clap your hands in time with the rhythm. Or set it to tune! Or better still make one of your own!

There once was an old man from Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

A mosquito was heard to complain,
'A chemist has poisoned my brain!'
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro-
Triphenyldichloroethane.

The limerick is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.

Said an ape as he swung by his tail,
To his offspring both female and male,
"From your offspring, my dears,
In a couple of years,
May evolve a professor at Yale."

Archimedes, the well known truth-seeker,
Jumping out of his bath, cried "Eureka!"
He ran half a mile,
Wearing only a smile,
And became the very first streaker. ►

Daily Jewel

by Pastor Carnell, McAlester, OK
Aug. 3, 2012

“No Opportunity for a Mulligan”
“Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputation ruined for good.” – Proverbs 6:32, 33 (MSG)

We serve a God of second chances—something I am eternally grateful for. I have taken advantage of His Grace and Mercy on more than one occasion…as have most of us I would imagine. Unfortunately, we do not always get opportunities for second chances when it comes to life and how people view us. When we make mistakes or make some very bad decisions we don’t always get a “mulligan” so-to-speak.
For the uninitiated, in the game of golf a mulligan represents a “do over.” If you shank a shot or hit a ball that winds up unrecoverable, a “mulligan” allows you to try again—hopefully hitting a better shot! It must be stated that mulligan’s only apply to golfers like me—those who only play once in a while for nothing more than self-respect. Pro golfers, on the other hand do not get to take a mulligan. With that said there is probably one particular golfer who would very much like to have a mulligan or two when it comes to his personal life.
In 1996 the professional golf tour welcomed a young, upcoming and brash player by the name of Eldrick Woods. Most of us know him by his nick name…”Tiger.” Since his debut on the PGA tour, Woods has won 14 professional major golf championships, the second highest of any male player (Jack Nicklaus leads with 18), and 73 PGA Tour events, third all time. He has more career major wins and career PGA Tour wins than any other active golfer. He is the youngest player to achieve the career Grand Slam, (winning all four major tournaments: The Masters, U.S. Open, The British Open and the PGA Championship) and the youngest and fastest to win 50 tournaments on tour. Additionally, Woods is only the second golfer, after Jack Nicklaus, to have achieved a career Grand Slam (winning all four majors in a calendar year) three times. Woods has won 16 World Golf Championships, and won at least one of those events in each of the first 11 years after they began in 1999.
Most golfing experts believed that Tiger would break Nicklaus’s record of 18 major wins before he turns 40 (Nicklaus was 46 when he won his last) and would probably have more career wins than any golfer in history. There are those who believed he would be the greatest golfer to have ever played the game. Then in late November of 2009, police were called to the scene of an accident near his home. He left his Orlando-area home around 2:30 am in his SUV, hit a hedge, a fire hydrant, and, finally, a tree, just down the street from his house. Woods was a bit bloodied, treated for minor facial lacerations, and cited for careless driving. He paid a $164 traffic ticket, but refused to speak to the police and the accident fanned intense speculation for two days, until Woods released a statement on his website, taking blame for the crash and adding that it was a private matter. On December 11, 2009, Woods announced he would take an indefinite leave from professional golf to focus on his marriage after he admitted infidelity. His multiple infidelities were revealed by over a dozen women, through many worldwide media sources. In April of 2010, Woods returned to competition for The Masters where he tied for 4th. He would not win a single tournament the entire year—the first time that has happened in his career. His wife Elin filed for divorce in the summer of 2010. It is safe to say that Tiger’s “indiscretions” not only destroyed his marriage but has damaged his career and tarnished his reputation. In 2008, Tiger Woods was the highest paid commercial spokesman in the world. He made more money promoting products than he made playing golf. As a direct result of the revelation of his affairs, all but two of the product sponsors dropped him at an estimated cost of $30 million dollars lost—a Year!
Tiger’s “nose” has been bloodied—his career right now is in shambles—his marriage destroyed and his reputation has been greatly tarnished to say the least. All as a result of his lack of discretion. I wonder if Solomon knew some “Tigers” in his day? You don’t have to be a pro golfer—making millions of dollars to lose the things that are important to you, like reputation and family, all because one chooses to live outside of the boundaries that God has laid. In fact, in the game of golf if a ball is hit out of bounds you lose a stroke and in many cases when that happens it can cost the play to lose the tournament. And you do not get a mulligan to make it better.
Stay in bounds! God created those boundaries for our good—to keep us strong. He knows what is right and why we need to remain under His control.
Pastor J. T. Carnell

Daily Jewel

by Pastor Carnell, McAlester, OK
Aug. 2, 2012

“The Art of Self-Destruction”
“But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.” – Proverbs 6:32

Self-Destruction is the term we use to describe a person or organization that falls apart primarily as the direct result of their own poor, unwise decisions and/or actions. It could and does apply also to governments, families, marriages, sports teams and unfortunately, churches.
In 1984, a young senator from Colorado by the name of Gary Hart was making waves in both the Democratic party as well as on the national political scene. His 1984 campaign slogan was "New Ideas, New Generation." Hart's new ideas were to avoid traditional means of treating problems. Instead of a choice between conservatism and liberalism, he wanted to create a third option and focused on trying to convince the public that the real choice is between the past and the future. Hart spoke for individual rights and a respect for free enterprise and economic productivity. He claimed independence from party leaders and special interests. His appeals were directed to the emerging group of young, upwardly mobile professionals ("yumpies" or "yuppies,” as the terms were popularized at the time) - a new generation of educated men and women born after World War II.
Almost overnight his long-shot candidacy vaulted from the back of an eight-candidate race to the forefront after unexpected victories in the New Hampshire primary and the Iowa party caucuses. Riding a wave of momentum, he captured party delegates in New England and other states during February and March 1984. However, the fast pace of success could not keep up with the need for organization in many states. His momentum was lost to a well-organized campaign and support from labor and other interest groups for former Vice-President Walter F. Mondale. At the Democratic nominating convention, Hart lost to Mondale by a narrow margin—leading many to believe he would make a great candidate for the next election. In 1986 Hart did not seek a third term in the Senate, instead he continued to advance his issues and causes, and in 1987 he began another campaign for the presidency. But this time, Hart's campaign was hampered, not by another candidate, but by rumors of his womanizing, rumors that he adamantly denied. To attempt to get his candidacy back on track Hart openly challenged the press to follow him. They did! Shortly thereafter, reporters from the Miami Herald "caught" Hart with 29-year-old model/actress Donna Rice. It was revealed that the pair had vacationed together, and Hart withdrew from the race—losing any momentum he had. It also damaged his marriage and his reputation. That is self-destruction!
It is my belief that self-destruction is not something that just randomly comes about but is often the direct result of a pattern of thought and/or action. You almost have to work it for it to happen and when it does it is not a minor breakdown but a major train-wreck, as the illustration for the life of Gary Hart proves. Self-destruction occurs when one or several know what the right thing to do is—but be it pride, arrogance or stupidity, they choose to ignore the right and go ahead with their plans or actions. I see it destroying families, almost on a daily basis. I’ve seen more than a couple of churches fall apart—a couple from a family or a couple of people demanding their way and another as the pastor did the same. Two of those churches today are a mere shell of their former selves and the latter ended up closing. Final conclusion—does this glorify God?
If you are following along a path of self-destruction I would ask you take a minute and consider that your pattern and/or actions are not isolated to your own life but will impact those around you as well. Stop now…seek God…seek forgiveness and direction…and get back on the path of righteousness that leads to strength…hope and glory.
Pastor J. T. Carnell.

Olympics

by Que Clingerman, Monrovia, MD
Aug. 1, 2012

The Olympics being active in London, England and watched by millions around the globe, has made me reflect on goals and the purpose of the Christian life.

Think of it! The Christian is running a race for an Eternal goal. The rewards will not perish because they are in Eternity. Olympians discipline themselves and practice, practice, practice! They are totally dedicated to be an Olympian first of all and then to possibly win a gold medal. They sacrifice a lot to be the best in the world.

How much more should the Christian be disciplined to be at his/her best for Christ! Unlike the Olympics everyone will receive a crown and a mansion prepared for those who love God with all of their hearts! An Eternal Home without end where there are no losers! Praise the Lord! Surely it is worth any sacrifice or deprivation! The rewards for the Christian are everlasting!

Olympians are to be commended for their great discipline and effort. Christian, what kind of commendation will be yours on Judgement Day?